Brugge Blog

It isn’t easy writing down what you believe, to commit to words the feelings you hold, either strongly or vaguely, but at least privately. Words may not be the best instrument, but they’re what most of us can use, and they give you boundaries to work within. And I think that what a lot of people find is that the act of writing helps clarify your thinking, if not for others then at least for yourself.

Taking the next step, actually sharing these beliefs with others, is a second challenge. To me it seems to be an act of both strength and vulnerability, like an opening up of yourself to show that which is most vital. It’s also an act of honesty that connects you to the many others who read it, and connecting is so much of what our lives are about.

Reading the book “This I Believe” certainly made me feel connected to a number of people, folks who expressed something that rang true to things that I feel are important too. Then I went to the web site where anyone can contribute, and I was reminded how strong the connecting urge flows both ways - people who felt moved both to read and to write, to take in and to respond.

Here are excerpts of some that grabbed me in one way or another. The fuller essays are richer, so taste here and then explore on your own.

In Praise of the “Wobblies”, Ted Gup

It had let me know that it was okay to be perplexed, to be torn by issues, to look at the world and not feel inadequate because it would not sort itself out cleanly. In the company of the confident, I had always envied their certainty. I imagined myself like some tiny sailboat, aimlessly tacking in whatever wind prevailed at the moment.

But in time, I came to accept, even embrace, what I called “my confusion,” and to recognize it as a friend and ally, no apologies needed. I preferred to listen rather than speak; to inquire, not crusade. As a noncombatant, I was welcomed at the tables of even bitterly divided foes. I came to recognize that I had my own compass and my own convictions, and if, at times, they took me in circles, at least they expanded outwards. I had no wish for converts–where would I lead them?”

I’m Not the Mountain I Thought I Would Be, Marcus

Father, husband, teacher, part-time photographer. Somehow, as adulthood ensnared me, my dream of being an extraordinary photographer dissipated. Pulitzer Prizes gave way to soccer games, faculty meetings, and week-long family vacations. Nobody ever told me I couldn’t have it all.
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The awards and honors I once envisioned have been replaced by refereeing arguments about which child touched which, by being the designated family member that gets the heels from the loaf of bread, by trying keep the lawn mower running, and never knowing for sure if somebody is going to barrel through the bathroom door at an inopportune time.

But once in a while the beauty is celebrated in arenas I never imagined. Theatrical productions in the front yard, listening from the van as my daughter successfully navigates her piano lesson, and in another anniversary with my wife.

A Balance Between Nature and Nurture, Gloria Steinem

So I no longer believe the conservative message that children are naturally selfish and destructive creatures who need civilizing by hierarchies or painful controls. On the contrary, I believe that hierarchy and painful controls create destructive people. And I no longer believe the liberal message that children are blank slates on which society can write anything. On the contrary, I believe that a unique core self is born into every human being — the result of millennia of environment and heredity combined in an unpredictable way that could never happen before or again.

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But the real answer is a balance between nature and nurture. What would happen if we listened to children as much as we talked to them? Or what would happen if even one generation were raised with respect and without violence?

Always Go to the Funeral, Deidre Sullivan

“Always go to the funeral” means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don’t feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don’t really have to and I definitely don’t want to. I’m talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex’s uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn’t been good versus evil. It’s hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing.

I Agree with a Pagan, Arnold Toynbee

Since we can never be sure, we have to try to be charitable and open to persuasion that we may, after all, have been in the wrong, and at the same time we have to be resolute and energetic in what we do, in order to be effective. It is difficult enough to combine effectiveness with humility and charity in trying to do what is right, but it is still more difficult to try to do right at all, because this means fighting oneself.